Open Letter to You

don’t remember what i did other then think about you, the way you were with me, and try to contain my pit-pattering heart from blinking too fast. i’d sit in my bed writing and i’d see an image of you, naked and silhouetted in light, or hear your voice making me insane, or remember something you did still shocking me. when i remember, something snatches me back and i find myself breathing heavy and then quietly smiling to myself.

i thought about you this morning. i stood dressing in the middle of my room looking out the window feeling this admiration for you. i was happy i could see you go home and had faith that you were still asleep somewhere in that moment. i was watching the rain come down. and found that i was happy too to be making one wish. an odd wish. i was glad it was raining because i want you to be here to see the snow fall. it wouldn’t seem right to me if you weren’t here when the snow comes again. not that you like snow, but the event is beautiful and heavy and whether or not you love or hate snow, there is no denying that it will leave a mark for at least the next few months of your life. it seems important enough for you not to miss it’s cuming.

i realized that i even dressed up with you on my mind. a little for you i think because the clothes i chose all seemed to scream out “Fuck you” or “Fuck me” or “i’ve been touched”. my little way of rebelling in your absence and keeping the faith. (rebelling to the idea that you aren’t here to dress for, and in good faith that you’ll be home/here soon enough.)

your face. your image, your everything i can touch. taste, smell or remember has flooded me today, silently, quietly. i see you between my…you make me blush. i can’t look at you too long. you are too real. you’re too natural. you move me, you lick me, you touch me like nothing, like no other. you feel better then human and you act like a fucking feline. you get messy and i want to rip my fucking hair out to look at you again.

and this isn’t even the half of it. (Happy Thanksgiving too.)

Baby, take off your cool
I wanna see you, I wanna see you
Baby, don’t be so cool
I wanna see you, I wanna see you.

Baby, take off your cool
I want to get to know you
Take off your cool.

– Andre/Outkast


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