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black lipped, crack lipped

it’s morning. oh god!

it felt like morning was never going to come.

do you ever have one of those long nights where you react to more stimuli then you have in days or even in the day, you wake up and go to sleep over and over again, you read and write letters and sculpt adventures in your head until you’ve finished all of those projects, and there’s no one else up, just you. and you could wander the house if you’d like in your bedsheet, playing music, scaring the studious student headin for the bathroom. you could do any number of things to distract yourself from the fact that you can’t sleep, because it’s just an ordinary night, just a night where nothing of importance should impede you because nothing has happened for you to turn and say: “Look here! this is why i can’t sleep. this mirror and these four walls.” but there won’t be a good reason tonight. none for why you feel ugly and stupid. or why in all your dreams you seek a resolution. someone to come to you after the disaster and tell you that everything will be okay. it’s just one of those nights where you wake sweating, aching in your arms, and in your legs, as if you’ve beaten yourself. just one of those nights where you can feel how short time is, flying by and it’s already 6am. one of those nights when certain hours have expanded so largely, they feel insurmountably thick.

calm comes after a pray. over and over, each time a little more composed, a little better, until you’ve quieted your demons, and you sleep, waking hours later and like a miracle its morning.

Mother,
who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy Will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil,
for thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever.
Amen.

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