assume your position

can mean both take your weight and responsible into your hands

as it also means position yourself for war

what is mine?

do i make you uncomfortable?

do you think i am a little silly?

you must feel relieved to not be in my position. and i don’t blame you. i have run into a wall in my life and i may have to break it in and this is never graceful.

do you think to yourself sometimes, Why doesn’t she let it go?

do you think i am an open book and because of this something easy?

it’s not easy to watch yourself fall apart. it hurts. incredibly so. but what other option do i have. is it courageous to die? go down with the ship. it is courageous to love?

i can’t stop you from thinking that i am overreacting. but i can try to tell myself the truth which is…this…i am afraid but i am not lost and i regret nothing and i will try to find myself and hold onto her and i promise that i will be okay.

think that i am silly or ridiculous sometimes but please don’t take your friendship from me. because i need it. i need you to smile on me.

why do i say sorry so much. because i don’t know if i have hurt you and i don’t want to…and the thought of losing your friendship will make me regret everything…and until now i have never wanted to take back a single action.


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