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you can’t always be direct

when he says, I’ve been busy….it probably means that he hasn’t had an interest in you and now that no one is there he’s interested in passing some time with you and we know it won’t make a difference at the end of either of our lives. It works this way here. it’s not the plans you make but what is the Best plan.

so you say, Well, i hope everything works out for you…peace! when you really mean to say “i really liked you dude but i am not 16 and there are plenty of others out there (men and women what ever you like) who are interested in that.”

why do i take such offense? is it for the name dropping attitude and then a feel-bad-for-me line. if “i liked” him i am suppose to understand and say “okay wow i am so sorry to hear that. when can i see you again?” And i would make him feel better out of politeness and make myself feel better too for a time. i guess we can’t really tell people the truth unless that is already welcome and in place.

rationally i read this as he doesn’t like me…that is just a blow to the ego and the ego is shit…the other part of me is wholly disappointed in this dating scene as i make the common mistake of thinking this one is sincere even if he kind of said, “Hey I am just looking to get laid.”…was that what he said and i missed it? i mean he did mention something about types of women like pigeons going in pigeon holes…

well that is honesty right? if he says…i don’t like love, i am a hard rock, i just want to fuck like an animal. i mean you have respect for that if its true but its much easier to say that because that is cool. it’s another things to tell the truth when its not cool like for example…i need approval and i wanted you to lift me up or i just don’t think i like you or you’re nice but on my list of potential playmates you are at the bottom…i want love and i like you and i am sacred.

one way or the other, honesty is really hard to dish out and really hard to find. so when i find it even on the head of a cow, i will take it.

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