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when i was a child i spoke as a adult

when i was a child i spoke as an adult, i lived as an adult, i worked as an adult. now that i am an adult i have become Peter Pan. i mean sure i am responsible. i take care of another living being and hold down the fort pretty well. But i live as a child. in the good and the reckless sense. i can love innocently and commit with no regrets. and i am reckless in thinking that there are no consequences to crossing the street without looking.

clashing into people…sometimes makes you stop and question the use of your childish toys. maybe, you think, i don’t need a balloon and a bandaid after all to manage.  I can walk on my feet and sink my teeth into something solid made of flesh and blood and beauty. i don’t need to chase after speeding vehicles heading no place or the drama of pointless dynamics to feel alive.

have you ever been touched by someone who has no agenda and doesn’t think through every act? like they aren’t acting. you don’t have to go through their history of pornography to get a kiss. have you made love to someone who isn’t afraid of your body? who takes care of you before taking from you? someone natural in their body that they are natural with yours. clean. in their head. in their touch. with nothing to perform. no grade to live up to or put you through? someone who can stay in bed with you for over 24 hours and just undress your mind, over and over. who makes a jaded woman who guards her territory…somehow want him to sleep there. i hope you have felt this because it feels so good.

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