When someone calls him “dirty Jew” even though he is my ex husband and even though we have been at deep opposition and I have hated him sometimes…I want to kill the people who say it and I never can greet them again. Somehow he can. He’s very forgiving. He once had a friend who was with him constantly and then a period came and they couldn’t see each other as much and he came to his house drunk screaming that he was a dirty Jew.

“Well that’s it! If you ever see him again you punch him in the face and we never speak to him again. How could he?! After he’s been in your home and sat with your mother and been your friend for years!”

He just said, “It’s his problem. I am not going to react.”

And lord knows he could and has and for much less but months later the same boy was there in the garden with the family. He forgave him!!? Well I didn’t. And when I see him I bite my tongue from saying a list of things in his direction.

Last night when I heard some artistic director of some “Hit” radio station in Rabat said why the hell would he help a dirty Jew like him get his music on radio…well that was it.

“What’s his name?” I wanted to know everything about him. For what? I wasn’t sure but I wanted to kill. I wanted to destroy this man and keep it in a little place and set to it to get revenge. I couldn’t forget it and I still can’t. It bothers me but then I thought but that is the problem. Our biggest problem is that we want to get revenge and then that’s where you get the fucking “problem” going on in middle earth as Bruno/Sasha Cohen so perfectly stated it.

Maybe my ex husband has it right. Maybe after they call you a dirty Jew, maybe after you let that feeling of wanting to get revenge, maybe I should let it roll off my back and live for other things. It takes too much to be angry and you can’t be both angry and happy at the same time. That man will get his as every hater in the world. I am going to calm down. Finish this orange juice. Go get the video of my daughter’s birthday and write my heart out.


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