Last night five friends made a visit to my house all at once each independently coming to hang out. I was blessed with the company of crazy smart sweet friends. An international crowd. A Canadian, two Casablancans, a French man and me an American woman. A cool mix of characters.
One half dressed actor.
The other also an actor and modest.
A director, smart.
A producer, soft spoken.
The topics went everywhere and no where. Sex, drugs, films, love, DSK, the CCM, lack of money, my daughter. We were scandalous and Nothing was off limits.
The half dressed actor spoke about his many lovers and how he keeps rejecting all of them. “There was this woman who told me I was amazing but I was average that night. She came to my place the next day without calling. I told her to not call me again.”
He put up six fingers.
I asked, “Is that the maximum time of being with a girl 6 days.”
He was shocked, “No! Six months.”
Now I was shocked, “Seriously! I never thought you could last that long.”
He turned it on me. “So you finally broke up with that guy you’re dating. How long were you with him?”
“A year and a half.”
“Finally. It was about time. Why were you with him that long?”
The sweet actor told us he had just broken up with his girl friend of 3 years. I was impressed and touched that he had stuck it out that long then he broke my nice image by telling me of course he wasn’t faithful to her.
The men agreed that infidelity was almost certain for them except for “the cowards” who didn’t cheat around and have sex with as many possibilities as available. I disagreed that people who don’t cheat are cowards. You make a choice and with any choice you lose something and gain somethings else.
I understand fucking just to fuck more than loving someone and cheating on them. The same guy that confessed that he had cheated said he thought fucking just to fuck was a sign of a mental problem when it came to women. Men could do that and it was okay but girls who do that are ill he said.
I of course disagreed with him politely. (Even though i thought he was a sexist motherfucker afraid of women doing to him what he does to them.)
My very good friend who was also a very drunk friend got a little touchie-feelie. The interesting part was not him touching my stomach and neck or resting on me or even him trying to get my hand on his leg… The interesting and funny aspect about it was watching the other men I was having conversations trying to pretend it was bothering the heck out of them and me.
If he had been anyone else of course he would have been on his face outside but it’s M. He’s been my friend for years and there has never been anything between us. And he’s the cutest actor in Morocco g-d bless him :).
That night, after the other actor told me women having multiple partners were mentally ill, he then went on to make a comment about DSK that turned into a fight. My friend, the molester, had to try and calm me down holding me back from hitting the guy although using it as an excuse to hold on to me… He tried to call the other filmmaker over to calm me down. He told him that he agreed with me and left the room for a moment to save himself. So the poor boy had me, a very angry woman going at him alone.
“It’s not possible that a rich man like DSK would rape a black woman,” he said.
“It’s exactly what a rich man drunk on power could do because he can and he thinks no one will believe her anyway because she’s poor and black.”
“He made love to her.”
“Of really! Were you there?”
“She said that he and she consented…”
“She is accusing him of raping her, assaulting her, there is nothing consensual here that’s why he’s on trial.”
“He couldn’t have raped her. She came in while he was in the shower and maids normally leave when you are in the shower.”
“Oh so because she came in while he was in the shower that means he didn’t rape her and that she was clearly consenting to have him dehumanize her?”
“He didn’t rape her.”
“AND YOU WERE THERE???”
“It’s politicians, they set him up. It was Sarkosky.”
“What are you French? What is in this for you to defend him? Or as rich men and you feel you have to stick together.”
“He’s Jewish you know. Moroccan.”
[Note to self: I don’t know why he mentioned that he was a Moroccan jew. I guess he thought I’d like him more because he’s Moroccan and Jewish. However, the same guy proceeded a few lines later to tell me he thought the holocaust was overblown because what happens in Palestine is the same. I told him it’s NOT the same. Israelis are not gasing people to death in wards and no where in the history of the world had something like the holocaust with that brutality and use of technology ever been used against a religious or ethnic or tribal group of people. The holocaust was religious/ethnic cleansing with the use of European ideologies and technologies. Going to war over land is something countries do all the time. It’s evil to kill but it’s what is being done by Jews and Christians and Muslims. It’s what Christian and Muslim Palestinians did when they slaughtered the Palestinian Jews living there for land and the way Israel fights for its borders. It’s like comparing a robbery shooting to a serial killer who lines up people based on their gender or look or age.]
She’s working a humble job and he chooses to defend DSK because he’s rich and powerful and my anger came out when he was talking. I spit my words out like little bullets of outrage.
“She’s a single mother, an immigrant, working to support her family, she’s black, she’s poor, she came to America fleeing her country and you are speaking about her like she’s nothing and some sort of liar. And because he has money and power you assume he’s honest and she’s guilty. He treats women like shit even being accused by two fellow politicians that he groped them and another woman of rape and he himself saying that he feared being accused of rape. No one worries about being accused of rape unless they’ve been raping people. That is not a normal fear that you think people will accuse you of. I’ve never heard anyone ever say this was their fear.”
The actor was sweet. He never raised his voice so I felt a little bad at being so direct and aggressive with him but at this point it got to me.
I’ve lived with “good men” my whole life and they always get the benefit of the doubt when their laundry reeks.
I threw someone out of my house a few weeks ago because they said basically the same thing that this actor said but he was my ex. He tried to discredit her and said, “I hope for her sake she wasn’t a prostitute before.”
I shot back, “Why the fuck would she have been a prostitute? She’s a Muslim woman working her ass off as a maid. AND even if she had been a prostitute does that mean it’s okay to rape her?! And it doesn’t matter if she was a good person or a gangster, that doesn’t come into the point because no one deserves that. And is that how you see women? As prostitutes or none prostitutes and deserving rape or not! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!”
He couldn’t understand why I was being so rude. I said, it’s my house and I’ve slept with you which will never happen again. Get out.
I was much nicer this night to the young actor.
The young actor apologized after. I said, “Why? Don’t. We can fight and disagree it’s okay, even if I do want to kill you and I don’t like your ideas at all.” He’s likable although he’s a sexist brat from Casablanca.