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Love and Hate and 20-year-olds

Three glasses of whiskey later I returned home from a perfectly fun and good dinner and somehow ended up calling my ex. I didn’t think I was drunk. Actually I didn’t realize I had been drunk until the next morning and knew from the heaviness of my head. Did he say he was mad because he missed the chance to break up with me first? Did he say nice stuff and put me to sleep or was this what I wanted to hear him say?

So I looked at the screen. It was off. I clicked on Facetime and clicked “call”. I did it so naturally again perhaps to check if what I thought he said was true. He answered. It was true but it was now a different day. 

I called up my friend. “I did something.”

“What did you do? Did you sleep with that 20 year old?”

“Worse. I was drunk. I was really really drunk.”

“Nooooo.”

“Yes.”

“You drunk called your ex?”

“Maybe.”

There were rounds of laughter and scolding that was punctuated by anecdotes until I said, “Yeah everything was perfect and now I am feeling things and it’s not good things. He said we should meet but then said he didn’t have time. He gave me 3 days to find time for him. What if I am not free then? He really can’t see me for 5 mins because he’s so busy? What does he want?”

“He might not have time for you but he has time for a quickie.”

Oh love is so sweet but sometimes it’s nice to chill with a 20 year old who has no hate for you yet and inspires no hate for him yet.

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