It’s the 15th day of the month of Av and it’s the Jewish holiday of love! On Tu B’Av the mitzvah is to love Hashem, but it’s not the actually the “feeling of love” that is important that you may feel or not, but rather the effort invested in opening up our hearts to be able to experience love.
I left my love in the Tel Aviv airport and unlike the many other times I left him, this time I cried a lot! I let myself cry like a baby in the shower hugging to his chest before leaving to the flight and in the airport again clinging to his chest where I had to leave him. I always pretended to be strong at goodbyes but I am so unable to handle goodbyes that I refuse to let the emotions come in. If I let things be felt, then it would look like today crying all over the airport so I don’t usually let anything in at all to the dismay of my former partner.
I didn’t know today was the day of love but it couldn’t have arrived at a stronger moment in my love life. I smiled when I realized it now in transit at the Istanbul airport.
The real challenge for me has always been the opening of my heart to love and not measuring the emotion. Whether love as an emotion is felt or not felt is less important than how I treat the other person in front of me and how they treat me and what effort we do to be good people to each other. I am proud of myself for becoming a little more aware and a little more naked for the Day of Love where giving creates love, faithfulness creates intimacy, seeing each other as Kings and Queens creates respect.
Happy happy love day!