a true story.
finds a girl.
working. walking on the street.
the exchange is this.
100 pour sucer
300 pour baiser
she asks him if he knows a place to go
combien pour ton cul
she doesn’t do it that way
she doesnt like it
she touches him
he touches her
he thinks shes young
he asks her why she is doing this
she says she needs to pay for rent
he is surprised
thinking she’s probably still living at home doing this to buy a bag or bulgari sunglasses
she tells him the story about how her mother asked her to sleep with a Saudi Arabian man. her mother brought girls home to sleep with this Saudi man who liked virgins and children. her mother for years served this client who would wait at her home as she would bring girls to him. one day he asked that he sleep with her daughter and in exchange he would buy her a house. her mother asked her daughter to sleep with him. she refused. her mother didn’t accept that for an answer. and her mother got her daughter to agree and bought her house that her daughter doesn’t stay in. her daughter ran away and doesn’t visit her mother except for once a month. she said, “I don’t think a mother should ever ask her daughter to do that. that isn’t what a mother does.” She confessed to the man trying to buy sex in the car.
she rents a room with her friend whose mother accepted rent for giving her a room. she asks for 1000 a month and she knows where she gets the money as a student can’t work full time. her friend, the landlords daughter, also works as a prostitute. she wants to believe that she is still a virgin.
there is a whole ideology and new world view you must design to tell yourself that you are “good”. “i can beat my wife, fuck my children, but as long as i go to pray 5 times a day somehow i am still a good person.” ??
isn’t it absurd of him picking up a poor girl selling her self because that is all she owns and injustice was done to her? and she is doing this not because she wants to buy a bag and not because she finds you exceptionally handsome.
he couldn’t touch her anymore after hearing her story.
and now after her story, she became a human instead of a piece of underage ass.
it was upsetting to hear this story. but this happens everyday here. real people suffering from real life.
i have always been unable to dance and laugh at a place where women were working and the work was selling their bodies. dancing for me is happiness. it is a communication with g-d and myself. my connection with my body and sex.
when i see prostitution i cannot laugh or dance. it makes me incredibly sad. it reminds me of my mother.
when i was a child i thought if i could take away my mothers pain i would do anything to achieve this. if i could take away all the pain and suffering from the girls i grew up with including my sisters, i would do anything. i would take on their lives and its pain if it meant that they wouldn’t have to. and still to this day i feel that i would give them my life and take their burdens and their pain and their work.
i have always felt like a prostitute even if i have never done this. these wome could be me and i could be them. our humanity, man or woman, is so tightly connected.
i think all of us lose a bit of ourselves and our goodness when we comodify a sacred part of ourselves and especially when we try to buy people with our unexceptional money. its like selling a torah scroll that was once used in a synagogue.
they sell Torah scrolls in marrakech. probably stolen or forgotten after the community left. a friend wanted to save it and was horrified that they opened a sacred scroll incorrectly. i said save it. buy it. he asked a rabbi who said it is forbidden to buy the scroll. you can’t buy it. it will lose all its value by being paid for and their is no price to it. it is above selling. it cannot be sold.
this “prostitute”. this sex worker.
why is she not considered scared like the torah?
her body cannot be sold.
she is even more sacred as she is living.
we have all lost our collective value when we let what cannot be sold to be sold. we all lose our value collectively when we try to buy or sell a little girl’s body.
the reader reading this
i am broken a little every time i hear about our sexual abuse because our sexuality (not just our sex), our sexuality can only be given in choice or in love and this sex is pure enough to be heard by g-d.
or buying people