“The strongest person is not the one who conquers others, but the one who conquers himself.”— anonymous
My friend sat with me smoking last night asking to recount my day which was spent with the boy who brought over a letter he wrote to his father. I forget that although his parental problems look immediate, they are still more healthy then mine, which are decades removed and still so strongly broken down. Although I should be at peace with my family I am not. It’s embarrassing at best and destructive in total.
My friend asked an interesting question. “So who has the power?”
“Who has the what?” I asked.
“Who has the power? You or him?” He asked.
I was stunned by the idea. It was a good thing I was surprised. I hadn’t been thinking about it. Should I?
I answered him, “I don’t know? Should there be someone with the power?”
“Yes.” He said. As if someone had to be the winner or loser.
Couldn’t we have a win win situation? I thought.
“Are you judging me?” I asked a while later.
“Why do you think that? I would never judge you?”
I am not ruled by who is ruling me and I hope not to think like that anymore.
I am grateful for this time of love and reflection and healing and changes. For the bruises that have led me far away and into more love. I am grateful for the loses that have led to wisdom and childlike discovery. I am falling. And I like this feeling like I love this stupid song.